Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Impromptu Dynamite Live Blog

I woke up to get a drink and couldn't resist checking in on the Fields Dynamite show. After seeing a couple Japanese commercials, I got a boost of energy and now will embark on a 5:45am Impromptu Live Blog. This might last ten minutes or hours, depending upon when the novelty of watching Japanese TV wears off.

Bob Sapp vs Cartoon Character
-Sapp Wins by 1st Rd TKO
Semmy Schilt vs Siala "Might Mo" Siliga
-Schilt Wins by 1st Rd Submission (Triangle)
Hayato Sakurai vs Katsuyori Shibata
-Sakurai Wins by 1st Rd TKO
Alistair Overeem vs Badr Hari
-Overeem Wins by 1st Rd KO
Mirko Cro Cop vs Hong Man Choi
-Cro Cop Wins by 1st Rd TKO
Mark Hunt vs Melvin Manhoef
-Manhoef Wins by 1st Rd KO
Eddie Alvarez vs Shinya Aoki
-Aoki Wins by 1st Rd Submission (Heel Hook)
Kazushi Sakuraba vs Kiyoshi Tamura
-Tamura Wins by Unanimous Decision

-The fight between Joachim Hansen and JZ Cavalcante was canceled because Hansen did not pass the pre-fight medical checkup. Hansen is currently being treated at a hospital for a head injury of some kind.

-Everything about this event is spectacular. The commercials are all over the top. I have literally not seen one that I'd call "normal". Each features a high pitched Japanese man screaming over images of people pole vaulting and cartoon alligators walking upright.

-They also have these long videos playing in between the fights. They aren't the normal build-up fare you find during American PPVs for MMA and boxing at all. The music is dramatic and reminds me of Rocky IV.

-The fans are more interesting to watch than the fights. Some are dressed in full karate outfits and everyone is banging crap together. I swear I didn't make that up. They are actually dressed in karate outfits.

-There is a kickboxing match on now.

-Another kickboxing match. I kinda like kickboxing, but at 6:21am it is kind of hard to get excited about. In other news, McDonald's is having a 100 yen deal on ice cream cones.

-Apparently the Japanese also love fist pumps and it doesn't matter if they are appropriate or not. Guy walking down the street with his girlfriend and sees a pretty girl walk by with a tray of tea...BOOM FIST PUMP!

Mirko Cro Cop vs Hong Man Choi
-Cro Cop wearing a stupid shirt that looks like it was designed in East Berlin during the Soviet occupation. It reads, "Cro Cop Team".
-Choi doesn't look as big as usual. Maybe he wears lifts in his shoes.
-Cro Cop has giant braces on both knees. He looks like a much shorter and whiter version of Patrick Ewing.

Round 1
Choi is stalking Cro Cop, who seems to want nothing to do with him. Very slow start with almost nothing happening. Cro Cop throws a couple low kicks that land lightly. A head kick almost connects for Cro Cop. He definitely had enough height to hit him. Choi lands a big jab and they are back to standing around looking at each other. Cro Cop falls down. Choi tried to run in, but apparently he can't run and instead did this weird shufflestep move. Choi throwing jabs and reaching out with his enormous hands. Referee issues yellow card to both for being boring. Cro Cop kicks him in the balls. Seconds after the restart, Cro Cop throws a left inside leg kick that knocks Chio down. He appears to have injured his knee. Cro Cop Wins by 1st Rd TKO.

-Well, that was an odd one.

Mark Hunt vs Melvin Manhoef

Round 1
Hunt comes charging in and gets caught with a left/right combo that drops him to the mat. Fight's over. Great knockout. Manhoef Wins by 1st Rd KO.

Eddie Alvarez vs Shinya Aoki
-Fans clapping and going nuts as Aoki comes to the ring.
-I should also mention how commercials seem to come out of nowhere. One second I'm getting pumped for a fight, the next there is a women's softball commercial on the screen. There's a good chance I'm gonna have some sort of brain damage after this.
-Aoki wearing his stupid pants that should not be allowed in a MMA fight.

Round 1
Fighters keeping their distance at the start. Alvarez coming in close, but only throwing light punches that aren't landing. Aoki goes for a takedown, but Alvarez defends it. Aoki is now sitting on the mat and moving on his butt at Alvarez. I tried to write that about five other ways before deciding on that wording. Alvarez wants nothing to do with this and is moving away. Aoki still chasing him on his butt. He shoots up and misses with a kick. Back on his butt. Alvarez looks off his game, as I'd hope someone would be who is being chased by a Japanese man on his butt. Aoki is back to his feet. Aoki catches a kick and quickly pivots to Alvarez's back. Alvarez throws Aoki to the mat and ends up in mount. It doesn't last long because Aoki wiggles his way out and now has Alvarez on his back. He drops down and has a leg. Alvarez is scrambling, but this doesn't look good. He taps from the heel hook. Aoki Wins by 1st Rd Submission (Heel Hook).

-He literally chased Alvarez on his butt.

-Alvarez was down for a good minute following the end of the fight. He then limped off mostly on his own. The heel hook didn't look deep until the end when Aoki really wrenched it hard. You could see the instant reaction on Alvarez's face.

-I refuse to give Aoki all the credit he deserves until he gets rid of those stupid pants. They should not be allowed in a MMA fight, especially when the guy is a submission machine. This isn't an excuse for Alvarez, it's more of a general statement. Alvarez simply got caught in a bad spot.

Kazushi Sakuraba vs Kiyoshi Tamura
-This is the most insane thing I have ever seen. Sakuraba's entrance cannot be adequately explained. All I'm gonna say is it ended with Sakuraba riding an extremely small bicycle. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

-I'm not even gonna give play-by-play for this one. Sakuraba lost by Unanimous Decision.


lionit said...

I thought Alvarez would knock him out. Did Aoki show any striking at all?

Anonymous said...

Shinya is a bad dude. I agree about the pants. The large ring helps him keep from getting his head blown off to.

chappyd said...

im convinced you dont sleep or are six people.