Saturday, October 18, 2008

UFC 89 "Live" Results

All right, here we go.

-I never realized how long this intro was. Reminds me a lot of vintage ECW back when no one had ever heard of it outside of Philadelphia and New York. They did these ridiculous ten minute montages because they didn't have enough matches to fill the time.

-I'm tired of hearing how Chris Leben has changed. The guy moved to Hawaii and hasn't drank for a few months. Stop congratulating him like he saved a little boy from a killer shark.

-Joe Rogan still sporting the Evan Tanner tribute beard. His face looks like a British chick spreading her legs.

Paul Kelly vs Marcus Davis
-Does any one in England really give a crap about Marcus Davis? Every one I've talked to could care less about him, but the UFC keeps shoving him down their throats.
-According to Goldberg's intro, "Davis is an adopted son of Britain".
-Do people in England still use "stone" as a measurement device? That can't be true.

Round 1
Davis looking kinda small. Good leg kick by Britain's Adopted Son. Very slow start. Two minutes in and we've had one leg kick. Body kick by Davis. Another body kick. Davis with a takedown and Kelly goes for a guillotine, but it doesn't work. A nice pass from Davis into side control. Kelly cut on right side near ear. A scramble allows Kelly to get up. Leg kick by Davis.
Davis 10-9

-Kelly better step it up. He's letting Davis dictate things.

Round 2
Davis keeps going to the leg kick, three in the first two minutes. Kelly finally comes forward. He didn't land any thing. Takedown by Kelly. Davis has a guillotine. He sinks it in and Kelly taps.
Marcus Davis Wins by 2nd Round Submission (Guillotine)

-Paul Kelly did a great impression of a statue in that fight.

-The fans are dead silent.

-Davis says it's the first camp he's had where he didn't get cut. Looks like the cut surgery worked. Also begs Dana White to send him to Ireland for UFC 93.

Paul Taylor vs Chris Lytle
-Taylor has the complexion of a toilet bowl.
-Lytle sporting "Condom Depot" on the back of his trunks. That's the Scarlet Letter of MMA.

Round 1
Nice start. Standing and exchanging. Lytle landing the better ones. Uppercut by Lytle. Taylor throwing some kicks. Action slows against the cage. Some body shots from Lytle. A big takedown by Lytle, but Taylor gets right back up. Lytle keeps pushing him into the cage and working inside. Taylor connects with a counter straight left/right combo. Another tie-up and knees to the body of Taylor. Front kick followed by a right for Taylor. Big right hand in close from Taylor. A fast start ends slow with Lytle controlling things. He kept pushing Taylor into the cage and not giving him any space.
Lytle 10-9

Round 2
Taylor pressing things. Good kicks by both fighters. Lytle lands a solid left. Back to the cage and more knees to Taylor's body. Down to the mat, Lytle on top working for a guillotine. Taylor defends and gets up. Leg kick lands for Taylor. He then eats a punch and a head kick. Uppercuts landing for Taylor. Lytle responding with body shots. Another leg kick by Taylor. Lytle gets kicked in the balls from a misplaced kick. Taylor looking better this round. Lytle seems to be tired and stalling, but Taylor can't capitalize. Round ends with a good combo from Taylor.
Taylor 10-9

Round 3
More kicks landing for Taylor. Body punch lands flush for Lytle. He follows it with big head shots that back Taylor up into the cage. They are trading back and forth. Lytle getting the better of it. Punishing the body and throwing huge punches to the head. Taylor throwing back, though. Lytle is tired again. A very nice leg kick by Taylor. Inside leg kick by Taylor and prior a straight right. Uppercuts in close from Taylor. Lytle connects with a left hook. Takedown by Lytle. He's just holding him down. Taylor works his way back up, very impressive. A kick lands for Taylor. Right hand lands, big uppercut, and a left hook staggers Lytle a bit. A great close to the fight for Taylor. He probably stole the round with the last burst.
Taylor 10-9
Chris Lytle Wins by Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)

-Taylor got screwed. The judge who scored it 30-27 should be fired.

Luis Cane vs Rameau Sokoudjou
-Time to see if Luis Cane is for real. Same could be said for Sokoudjou.
-Sokoudjou's right knee is wrapped.
-Cane sporting some fly looking purple trunks. And, we have our second "Condom Depot" sighting of the night.

Round 1
Inside leg kick lands for Sokoudjou and then a body kick. Cane is getting backed up. Right hand gets in over the top and hits Cane. Left kick connects for Cane. Sokoudjou comes right back with a kick of his own. Uppercut by Sokoudjou. Very big body kick and a right hand sorta wobbles Cane for a second. Things slow down. Cane lands a straight left. Solid body kick by Cane. He looks a lot more relaxed now and Sokoudjou seems to be tired. He stopped throwing with about ninety seconds to go. From there Cane controlled the flow.
Sokoudjou 10-9

Round 2
Sokoudjou gets kicked in the balls. Man, that was an ugly one. You could actually see his balls go flying on the replay. Jump kick to the body of Cane. Right hand lands for Sokoudjou. Another body kick by Sokoudjou. A punch and knee combo for Cane. Sokoudjou backing up and breathing hard. Nice right hand for Sokoudjou. Knee to the head of Sokoudjou. Another one lands flush. A right distracts Sokoudjou then Cane drops him with the left. Cane on top raining down punches. Most getting blocked at first. More punches and they're landing. Sokoudjou is done. Referee steps in after about twenty punches. I can't believe I talked myself into picking Sokoudjou.
Luis Cane Wins by 2nd Round TKO

-This broadcast sucks. As soon as the fight ended they went to commercial. Viewers get all excited from the ending then they have to wait three minutes to see it again in slo-mo. Stupid.

-Sokoudjou is sitting on the stool with his head down, as the result is announced.

-Michael Bisping breaks down his fight with Chris Leben

"Oh, it's not the speed really so much. I just wish
I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning."

Brandon Vera vs Keith Jardine
-Vera talks such a big game. I guess when you give a guy a gigantic contract after beating a few mediocre fighters his head gets a little big.
-Jardine running sprints in the cage to get warmed up.

Round 1
Jardine comes forward and takes Vera down. Elbows from the bottom for Vera. Jardine is cut on the top of his head. Some right hands from the top for Jardine. He's in Vera's guard. Nice short elbow from the bottom for Vera. More right hands from Jardine. Vera is blocking most of them. Referee stands them up. Clinch and both landing knees in close. Leg kick by Jardine. Body kick for Vera lands. Leg kick by Vera. Right hand by Jardine. A very nice leg kick by Jardine buckles Vera's leg. He responds and catches Jardine, who goes down. He gets back up quickly and staggers Vera. Jardine going for the kill. Vera is down on his knees and getting hit. Ten seconds left. Jardine can't land the final shot, but Vera is hurt to end the round.
Jardine 10-9

Round 2
Inside leg kick for Vera. Jardine connects with a leg kick. He goes for a takedown, but Vera defends it well. Jardine goes for a head kick, stumbles, and falls. Vera over top of him. Jardine gets up without getting hit with too much damage. Announcers think Jardine might have hurt his knee. Tough to tell. He is limping slightly. Still throwing kicks, though. In the clinch Vera lands an uppercut. Body kick by Vera. Another solid body kick by Vera. Jardine keeps running in, but Vera is moving backwards into his shell. Boring round after the first.
Vera 10-9

Round 3
Jardine walks into a leg kick. He responds with one of his own. The announcers keep gushing over Vera like he's dominating. Body kick by Vera, hook counter by Jardine. Straight left lands for Vera. Jardine wrestles him into the cage. Throwing punches in close. A couple knees land for Jardine. He's gotta pick it up, if he wants to win this round. Both land leg kicks. A very awkward round. Neither was connecting too much. Jardine ends it with a series of punches that land. Probably the only real damaging head shots of the round. Vera looked like he had the fight under control until the final couple of minutes. Jardine could have stole it.
Jardine 10-9
Keith Jardine Wins by Split Decision (28-29, 29-28, 29-28)

-Hey, they got one right! Vera did not deserve to win. He went into his shell again. I'm glad he did, to be honest. I like calling him "The Ultimate Fighting Turtle". Hopefully they rethink putting him in the main event when they go to the Philippines.

-The fans were booing throughout the fight. After the first round, it stunk. Vera got hurt at the end of round one and he was afraid to trade with Jardine after that. He tried to win the fight with leg kicks. They score points, but you need to connect with the head too. Jardine did both. He landed kicks and he landed quite a few solid punches.

Chris Leben vs Michael Bisping
-Leben coming out to "God Save the Queen". Excellent choice.
-Announcers trying to compare Leben to BJ Penn and Georges St-Pierre, who lost fights then rededicated themselves.
-Bisping counters with "Woo Hoo" by Blur. He looks crazed, as usual. I'm not sure if it's the broadcast, but the crowd has been kinda dead. They didn't even sound loud when Bisping came out. We'll see how loud they are during the fight, if Rogan and Goldberg ever shut up for a few seconds.

Round 1
Leben loading the left early. Leg kicks by Leben. More kicks landing for Leben. Bisping wrestles him into the cage, but lets him go. Right hand connects for Bisping. Goldberg makes a terrible joke then awkwardly laughs at himself. Right hand again connects for Bisping. Leben keeps moving forward. Bisping catches Leben's leg and lands a head kick. In the clinch, Bisping landing knees to the head. Blood trickling from Leben's nose. Two punches land for Bisping then another combo connects. Leben lands a couple big lefts, as Bisping backs up. Bisping lands down the center. A big right hand for Bisping. He is countering very well.
Bisping 10-9

-Good first round. Bisping is waiting for Leben to throw, then countering. It's kind of tough to see his punches because all you see is Leben swinging, but they are definitely landing. Leben's early plan was working. He connected with multiple leg kicks. Then he stopped and went to the big left a lot.

Round 2
Left hook lands for Bisping. Leg kick for Leben. Nice jab lands for Leben. Bisping gets kicked in the balls. That's a recurring theme tonight. Two lefts land for Leben. Straight left for Bisping. Straight right for Bisping. Inside leg kick lands for Leben. Both throw and land. Bisping catches a kick and misses an uppercut. Leben picking up the pace near the end of the round. He's got Bisping backing up and off-balanced. He's missed 3-4 huge shots in the past minute. Bisping got a little lucky. Slow round compared to the first. Bisping seems content to counter his way to victory.
Bisping 10-9

Round 3
Left lands for Leben. Both landing leg kicks. Right hand for Bisping. Nice jab by Bisping. Solid right for Bisping. Leg kick for Bisping. A left over the top lands and then another connects as Bisping backs up from the force. A very nice right hand followed by a leg kick by Bisping. Leben shoots in and takes Bisping down. A few lefts land for Leben, while Bisping was down. He's up now. Solid right counter for Bisping. He attacks Leben with a straight right. Leben throwing bombs towards the end. Bisping sorta stumbles back, more out of fatigue than any thing else. Round ends with Leben putting his hands down and daring Bisping to hit him. Bisping grazed him with a head kick.
Bisping 10-9
Michael Bisping Wins by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)

-Fight went how I figured it would. Bisping fought technical and won. Leben didn't have an answer. He ate counters all night without adapting. At the end, he was cut, bleeding, and bruised. Bisping barely had a scratch on him.


hundred dollar man said...

Britain's adopted son wins it!

lionit said...

Cane might win this on the ground. Machida showed how bad Sokoudjuo is on his back.

hundred dollar man said...

Jardine had him. He missed like thirteen punches when Brandon was down.

mextex said...

I hate Vera.

lionit said...

Bisping should fight Silva next. How does Cote deserve a shot now and Bisping doesn't next?

Donovan said...

I agree with pretty much everything you said. Great analysis. What fight did the judges watch while taylor fought lytle? Does anybody know what Jardine's entrance music was? It suits him, about the same as the bagpipe stuff last year.

chappyd said...

vera blows. they should put him in with chuck next.